I’ve always really liked the idea of being able to glare at people without them knowing I was doing it. Back when I thought the Liquid Scorpions were going to be huge, I had all these ideas about the stuff we would be doing. I was, like…twelve at the time, when we started. None of us could play any instruments, but we loved to play, so whatever. And then I thought that, like, two years later we’d be totally famous and girls all over would love us, and we’d be riding around the streets in a huge truck while people cheer us on.

And then I had this weird idea that the sides of the truck would be made of tinted windows. You know, like office window tinting and all that. And when we rode around, the windows would be so tinted that people wouldn’t be able to see in. So they’d be loving us, and cheering and some of the girls would be fainting, but then we’d be laughing at them for being scrubs. Maybe making some obscene hand gestures. I know, it was a really dumb and immature idea, but whatever. I had weird thoughts when I was a teenager, sort of like when I formed a band and named them ‘Liquid Scorpions’. I mean…it’s still the best name in the industry, even though we’re so unique that we’re making our OWN industry.

Doesn’t matter. I still like the idea of tinted windows, but mostly just because they make things look a bit darker and that’s pretty cool. We don’t have any at work…I think the old people don’t like them. They like being able to see out of the windows, because a lot of them can’t see all that well.

Still, when I get my own place somewhere in Melbourne? Home window tinting, all the way, all over the place. Like, you won’t be able to see into a single one of those windows. All privacy, all the time…and you won’t have a clue that I’m glaring at you, probably.